My Grandmother used the term ”White Lies” and she believed it was ok to use this when it was for the good of another person. She was a wonderful, wise caring person.
This can be a way to ease a very serious situation. However, not everyone believes that this is a good way to solve a very tense and serious issue. So, it depends on you, the caregiver, as to how you want to handle any situations that can lead to terrible arguments. You can avoid confrontation with quickly being a creative thinker. It may not necessarily make sense but it can satisfy the accuser.
Let’s use the example of an elderly person accusing you of taking something out of their home whenever you leave. You can tell them that you do not take anything with you when you leave their home and it could lead to a very terrible argument leaving the elderly person even more confused and upset. What is worse is they will probably not forget about it. If this is the case, you may need to stay away from them for a few weeks in hopes that they forget about what they thought you did.
Or, you can say something like this: I am so sorry, could you please stop me when I am taking something from your home and help me to stop doing this.
More than likely they will be glad to help you stop taking things from their home and it will be over.
So, this is really your choice as a caregiver to decide what to say to satisfy the needs of someone with dementia that imagines things that are not really true.
Would a ”White Lie” ease their mind and allow them to let go of these terrible feelings and move forward to a brighter day?